What a game, huh?
To celebrate one of the most thrilling sporting events in history, I’ve put together this list of unexpected facts about the Super Bowl. Hope you enjoy!
1. Bill Belichick will now tear out one of Pete Carroll’s eyeballs and add it to the necklace he wears under his sweatshirt.
2. Moments after the game ends, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell opens a portal to an alternate universe where the Seahawks won instead. He trades the “Super Bowl Champion Seahawks” hats he bought before the game for the other Roger Goodell’s “Super Bowl Champion Patriots” hats, and they both make hundreds of dollars.
3. Meanwhile, Roger Goodell’s personal assistant dumps the Seahawks’ blue-and-green victory confetti into a nearby river.
4. If this Super Bowl is like most Super Bowls, clouds will hang over Seattle for most of the next year.
5. Next week, the Patriots will play the CFL’s Calgary Stampeders in the biggest game of the year: The Football World Championship.
6. Everyone was so riveted by the final moments of the football game that nobody noticed how the puppies in the Puppy Bowl got together, formed a pack, and ate the referee’s face.
Football is such a cool sport! See you next year!