I may be only 20 years old, but there are many things I wish I knew.
1. Who wins Super Bowl XLIX?
Vegas is already accepting bets. I could use the money.
2. Which of the 715 books on my Amazon wish list are worth reading?
I just know I’m going to waste weeks threshing my way through all the chaff.
3. When will the next big earthquake hit Los Angeles?
Frankly, I’m shocked that this wasn’t on the other lists. If I knew this, I could save thousands of lives. Think big, people!
4. Is it going to rain tomorrow?
I got caught outside without my windbreaker today, and it sucked.
5. When someone says “what’s up?”, should you really tell them what’s up?
Actually, I wish I’d known this one at 15, but if you’d like to tell me now, I’d be very grateful.
6. Will I ever be good enough?
Just in general.
7. What does it mean if you dream about fighting a dragon, but the dragon kills you?
I’m hoping this is somehow a good omen, but I don’t think it’s a good omen.
8. Is it better to have loved and lost, or never loved at all?
It would be so cool to stand up during a poetry reading and just tell people the answer.
9. How do I separate my real friends from my fake friends?
I prefer fake friends, because I have to be at the top of my game to keep them around. Motivation!
10. Does she still remember that one weird thing I said at that party?
Because I wasn’t in the best headspace then, and… ah, screw it. Won’t matter by the time I’m 30 anyway.
11. Will I still be thinking about the weird thing I said at the party when I’m 30?
12. If I dropped out of school to become a DJ, would I become rich and famous?
Avicii really seems to be enjoying life.
13. Has anyone read this far?
I could save myself a lot of trouble by skipping the rest of the list. But I’m not that kind of blogger, so… onward!
14. Will I ever regret deciding not to be a journalist?
As far as I can tell, if you have to ask whether you’ll regret something later, you probably will. Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it, though. Or does it?
15. Are other people having more fun than I am?
If so, how can I
ruin have as much fun as they’re having?
16. What is the date of my inevitable death?
It would be really awesome if I could predict my own death two weeks ahead of time; I think Mark Twain did that, and Mark Twain was a badass.
17. Wait, is my death inevitable? Oh god, what if it is?
18. Who will be the next president of the Yale College Council?
I prefer voting for winners whenever possible.
19. What am I forgetting?
There has to be something.
20. Oh, right. When will the next big tornado hit Kansas?
That was close! Almost forgot Kansas.