Small Talk

Daily Themes, Week Six, Theme Two

Rating: PG-13

 

“Oof!”

“Oh! Sorry about that.”

“No, really, it was my fault.”

“That’s alright.”

“It’s just, in the living room, they… “

“No, same here, believe me. It was very sudden.”

“…”

“So, given that we’re the only two people still wearing clothes at this party, I guess we should make small talk? Do you like small talk?”

“Small talk is fine.”

“…”

“So, is this your first…”

“Yes. Dave invited me and I thought it might be interesting, but I’m not in the mood. I’m also not very good at small talk.”

“Oh. That’s–”

“That’s one of the reasons I came here. I don’t like small talk with strangers, so I figured that an orgy would help me get around that. I don’t know why I thought having sex with strangers would be easier than talking. Also, what’s your name?”

“Joseph.”

“Joseph. Okay. Would you name your son Joseph, if it wasn’t your name, and if you had a son?”

“What?”

“It’s a question I like more than small talk. I have a thing for baby names, sorry if it’s weird, I could ask you something else.”

“My son’s name is Jonathan. My ex-wife takes care of him. I don’t really like the name Joseph.”

“Oh! I’m sorry that – er, that your parents gave you a name you don’t like.”

“I don’t dislike it, either.”

“…”

“…”

“Okay, good. So, there’s an author named Chuck Klosterman, and he wrote this very good set of hypothetical questions1 to ask instead of making small talk, could I give you one of those?”

“Okay.”

“No, never mind, I was thinking of a stupid question, it’s about a turtle and the skull of Adolf Hitler, but I’m realizing I have this instinct to ask strange questions to people I’ve just met and I shouldn’t.”

“Okay.”

“…”

“…”

“Would you rather just have sex?”

“Yes.”

 

 

1. Klosterman 2010

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